I thought I could trust her. I noticed that she had something to say about everybody that she knows. She used to embarrass me in front of other people. I thought it was just a joke. I kept my silence. As a mental health counselor, I felt the need to gather more evidence to support my hypothesis. For more than 6 years, I gave her the benefit of the doubt. I noticed that she becomes too dramatic. She has no close friends. I felt that I was the only person who stayed as her friend the longest. She appears to be nice but once I turn my back, she had a lot to say. The latest that she did, was to call my “pilay (pee-luy)” in English this means cripple. I don’t deny that. I am a person with disability. But to change my name to “cripple” is a cruel behavior.  It was an assault to my personality and honor. It was discrimination. But this strengthened my hypothesis, she is a Borderline. I am glad I decided to stop being her friend. People with Borderline personality disorder can be destructive on a personal and organizational levels. They are intelligent and excellent actors. Suddenly you’ll notice other people starts asking you, “is it true that _____. I was told you are ___.” or suddenly your friends start avoiding you for no apparent reason, start searching for clues. One of you friends are talking behind your back bad mouthing you. The foregoing are examples of how borderlines operate. They are masters of deceit. 

Seriously, what makes you think, you are normal?

While at the bus stop, a homeless person, carrying his plastic bag full of stuff that he carries around with him. His clothes were slightly torn. It seemed that he had not taken a shower for few days or more. I can actually smell him. He approached me and asked, “do you mind if I smoke?” I said,”Yes.”  He smoked his cigarette away from the waiting shed. While observing him, he gave me a polite smile. I thought, “he is a respectable man.”

A man in a nice suite sat beside me. He looked educated. He was carrying a laptop. Nice shiny leather shoes. Well groomed. I can even smell the strong perfume that he was wearing. He looked respectable. He looked at me. I nodded to acknowledge his gaze. He turned his head away and started lighting his cigarette.  I noticed that he put it away when another person sat beside. So, I started moving away from him. Actually, he is not alone. I’ve encountered a lot of people like him. They thought people owed them respect.

To all the mothers who carried us in their tummies for about nine months; who love us no matter how we turned out to be; who are ready to sacrifice their lives for us, thanking you is not enough for the life that we have today.

For all the mothers who had gone by, I extend all the gratitudes and graces that you deserved by being good mothers when you were still with us.

To all the mothers in the world, Happy Mother’s Day!!! 

With all the craziness going on around these days, it has almost become an effort to stay sane. At work, there is an increase on the number of people requesting for mental health services. As I assess and evaluate their circumstances, I have come to realize that there is just a very thin line differentiating people we call “normal” from the people with mental health issues. If one would take time to read the DSM-IV TR, there is no doubt that you will see yourself in one of the diagnostic criteria.

language is one of the most direct expressions of the brain. it is so powerful that if one would examine his/her inventory of vocabularies that he/she uses, it defines who they really are.

I was shopping for new appliances in one of the biggest stores in the nation when suddenly I was hounded by a bitch (a female saleswoman). While busy making up my mind which kind best fits my needs, I was bothered by a saleswoman with heavy eastern accent following me around like a hound dog. Despite verbally telling her, I was still making a decision, it seemed that she was not getting my message, “get off my back bitch.”

Finally, I made my decision after careful comparisons of the items I wanted. So, I informed her about my choices. She offered me with a card that offers discounts and other perks. As she was explaining all the details, she kept confirming to my brother about the decisions that I was making. I told her that I am interested to to sign up for the card. She then took the application form and turned to my brother and asked, “Are you gonna help him fillout that form.” I reacted with a little anger because I felt insulted. “I am capable to fillout the application form…for your information,” as I loooked at her straight in the eyes and told her with disgust.

In this age of advance technolgy and learning, there are still those who make assumptions about people with disability. The notion that if there is someone who has a visible disability, therefore he/she could not make his own decision, still pervades and continues to discriminate people with disabilities.

After learning about my credit record, this insensitive and culturally incompetent saleswoman had the nerve to offer more appliances to me. I smile at her and thought, “no thanks bitch.”

i attended a training/workshop on ethics (American Couselors Code of Ethics) in mental health. one of the participants raised an ethical dilemma regarding dual roles. after sharing her story, i was wondering why was it a dilemma for her. if she followed the code of ethics and if she was sure of herself that she made a sound decision why would it bother her.

ethical dilemmas arise when there is a conflict between personal issues and the code of ethics. one should side with the law if there is doubt.

I had the chance to conduct a survey about why women would prefer to make love wth superheroes. Here are some of the popular responses.

Woman #1: “My favorite is Green Lantern. He is so seductive. He glows in the dark.”

Woman #2: “My personal favorite is Incredible Hulk. He grows even bigger…”

Woman #3: “Spider Man is sticky yet slippery, hmmm…”

Woman #4: “I’ll go to my ultimate favorite, Superman. He makes sure that I reach higher than cloud 9.”

We’ll ladies, you’ve been mising a lot. Try Asian men. Have you tried, “spinning tiger on a bamboo pole”? It’s really hot.

As I was waiting for my ride the other day, I saw a little Chinese boy. He is about 5 or 6 years old. He is totally blind. He was walking with his father. He appeared happy. I did not understand what he was saying but he seemed to be asking questions in Chinese to his father. He was running and his father had a difficulty keeping up to him. As I was watching him, I remembered my childhood when I used to ask my parents about people. During that time, I believed that all people are kind. As soon as I entered the “world”, I discovered that there are people who are cruel, cold, and harsh. As they were walking away, I sighed and hope that he will be tough enough, as a person with disability, to face the complexities of life. Not everything that could be seen are necessay and beautiful.

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I was talking to a friend who just recently received his US citizenship. I was surprised that he seemed to be a like mad dog meowing instead of barking. He denied his ethnicity. He speaks English as fluently as he could but he could not hide his southern Philippine accent. This is sad reality. I observed that there is a great pressure to conform with the majority. This has resulted to a certain degree of dissociation that could result to mental instability, such as depression and anger. This is quite usual specially when the ego is not stable.

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I was not aware that there is an issue between a American born Asian, and Americans born and raised in Asia, until my friend talked about what happened to him at work. A Chinese woman at work told him, “I am surprised that you know a lot about Chinese traditions.” I was really surprised!!! First, my friend is Chinese raised by Chinese parents. Second, one need not be in China to learn about Chinese traditions.

I have seen people who came from Asia but totally denies their cultural traditions and practices. I have Asian friends who grew up here in the US but they are more sensitiveto the Asian way of life.

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