They’ll find ways to survive*

In the face of any disability, the spirit persists and remains holy to keep the hope alive.

It was four years ago when I decided to join my family here in the US. I left my home country to be with my family of origin. That also meant leaving most of my extended family behind my relatives, childhood and family friends, former teachers, and my students. It also meant losing my career and to start all over again. I did not know where to start but I felt I needed to start right away. I felt depressed. I needed my life back.

It was very hard to restart a new life. The first few things that I remembered was being very aware of my language use and the color of my skin were highlighted. I can vividly recall that when I was referred to DSHS, when I was trying to look for a new job, I usually hear comments like “you know how to speak English”; “do you need an interpreter,” or “you need to apply for Social Security Benefits.” The same experiences happen to me when I visited other agencies. This experience was similar to my experiences as a person with physical disability only the phrases used were different. I came face to face with racism and oppression. There are labels assigned to my social status, I am a person of color, an immigrant, and as a person with disability. I felt that there was a need to advocate for people who marginalized. To do this, I decided to pursue my passion in life, to serve the lesser fortunate. I decided to go to graduate school in counseling. The Mental Health Program was a perfect match for me having been attended the Jesuit school in the Philippines. It was the only university that I applied in. When I was accepted I felt I was home.

While I was a graduate student, I learned the value of reflection, ethics, and service to community as I go through my evolution as a therapist. My reflections start every morning before getting up to face life’s surprises I start believing that there will be something wonderful that will happen. Everyday my routine starts with at least three hours to get ready for work. Then I will wait for at least an hour for my public transportation. I repeat the same waiting pattern when I go home in the evening. The wait period varies depending on the luck that I need. There were times when it had been really frustrating. But these cannot keep me from witnessing how hope shines in everyday life.

One of the clients that I was requested to see was much older than me. He was very depressed due to mental and physical illness. During the first session, he mentioned that he was determined to take his own life. He outlined how he wanted to end his life and the reason for doing so. I did the protocol for suicidal clients. I explored with the client whether it was the ending that he wanted. The client decided to work with me for a while to address his needs. He never missed any appointments with me. He is stable now. He owes it to himself. He made his choice.

I have seen clients improve their situations when presented with options. One of my clients who have been receiving government benefits decided to choose to go back to the work force. He did not have to. He mentioned, “I need work. I don’t care if I lose my benefits…I want to earn my own living.” The client explored his options, to lose his benefits including free medical assistance or to lose them in exchange for a full-time job. The client decided to receive vocational training. The client was referred to STEPWORKS for vocational training. He stayed for over two months with steady progress and has kept all his appointments with me. This client was hired last August. He shared how important it was to earn his own living. Culturally, he mentioned that he has the duty to provide for his family. It was shameful for him and to his God to be dependent. This client was hired last August.

For most of my clients they share their spirituality. They share their values, hope, religion, and beliefs. Many of them shared that their spirituality has been their source of strength. “I meditate to deal with the voices…I always do it…I create my safe place.” My client has been battling with chronic mental illness for more than twenty years. He has spoken about the many medications that he had taken and none seemed to have worked to control the voices. He is a survivor and has learned to cope with his mental illness that worked for him for many years. He requested for appointments just to be with someone willing to listen and not pass judgment. Sometimes that was all I needed to do.

Everyday before I go to work, I look forward for the day’s surprises. There were days when there seemed nothing much to do but after reviewing my day, there were a lot of wonderful things that happened, from the simplest translation of a letter for a client’s continuation of benefits to the most complex collaboration with other service providers in order to stabilize and make the client safe.

I know how it was to be alone in a foreign land. Oppression and racism are part of my daily existence in subtle and obvious ways. I share the pains and frustrations of most of my clients. But I have also learned how to survive and have managed to exist in the midst of a mediocre system. Most clients are creative. They will find ways to survive.

by Joe VR Gobunquin (aka Gao, Jing Ye), MA, MHP, API, DD

*This article was also published in the Banner, a Seattle University Publication.

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