Taos Pusong Pasasalamat Po!!!

To all the mothers who carried us in their tummies for about nine months; who love us no matter how we turned out to be; who are ready to sacrifice their lives for us, thanking you is not enough for the life that we have today.

For all the mothers who had gone by, I extend all the gratitudes and graces that you deserved by being good mothers when you were still with us.

To all the mothers in the world, Happy Mother’s Day!!! 

A case of cultural incompetence

I was shopping for new appliances in one of the biggest stores in the nation when suddenly I was hounded by a bitch (a female saleswoman). While busy making up my mind which kind best fits my needs, I was bothered by a saleswoman with heavy eastern accent following me around like a hound dog. Despite verbally telling her, I was still making a decision, it seemed that she was not getting my message, “get off my back bitch.”

Finally, I made my decision after careful comparisons of the items I wanted. So, I informed her about my choices. She offered me with a card that offers discounts and other perks. As she was explaining all the details, she kept confirming to my brother about the decisions that I was making. I told her that I am interested to to sign up for the card. She then took the application form and turned to my brother and asked, “Are you gonna help him fillout that form.” I reacted with a little anger because I felt insulted. “I am capable to fillout the application form…for your information,” as I loooked at her straight in the eyes and told her with disgust.

In this age of advance technolgy and learning, there are still those who make assumptions about people with disability. The notion that if there is someone who has a visible disability, therefore he/she could not make his own decision, still pervades and continues to discriminate people with disabilities.

After learning about my credit record, this insensitive and culturally incompetent saleswoman had the nerve to offer more appliances to me. I smile at her and thought, “no thanks bitch.”

The Tale of Two Minorities

I work with people who belong to different minority groups and subgroups. It is just interesting that these two individuals represent a microcosm of society. One established his territory over the jungles of Seattle. The other reigns in her kingdom with her unwilling subjects.

The king of the jungle walks around the vicinity of the International District (ID). I see him almost everyday. While waiting for my bus, he waves at me while searching for any remains of a cigarette butt(s) in the trash. He walks with his ragged clothes and worn out rubber shoes. There were times when he carried around a garbage bag filled with clothes. Today, he was wearing raincoat. When I was doing my internship, I was worried when I first saw him. He came up to me asking for a dollar. He walked away and said, “thanks man.” One time, he asked for again for a dollar. He said that he was going to buy food. I had a sandwich that I wasn’t able to eat that day. I gave it to him. As he was eating it, he mentioned that he is living in a jungle. During that time, I did not know what he was referring to. “The jungle is out there under the bridge.” I understood what he was saying the moment he pointed at the area where I passed every morning. He was referring to the area under the bridge adjacent to our office. I often see homeless people sleep there. He was right it looks like a jungle. There were tress and weeds growing. There are no wild animals but there is danger everywhere. A month ago there was a woman stabbed to death at the ID. This guy is an outcast of society. Nobody wants to do anything with him. He never bothered or hurt anybody as far as I know.

On the other side of jungle is Bordieland ruled by the queen. She belongs to one of the minority groups. She is gutsy and feisty. Her confidence is tremendous. She has a Master’s degree and numerous specializations in many areas of social service. She appears friendly and supportive. She’ll get your attention when she needs it. But her tactic is not at all sophisticated in the eyes of a skilled clinician. I found out that this is not the case. She talks behind people’s back. If you are not aware of this tactic, you will end up fighting with each other. She is capable of doing this because she is highly intelligent. In her defense, she is productive and high energy. Her downfall is her belief that she could control everything, including people around her. She brainwashed the people she supervised. She threatened then and humiliated them in front of other people. If they wish to go against her, they will suffer the consequences. She was able to instill fear in her subjects. For almost a year, she has been able to get away from it because of her deceptive tactics.

The King rules his kingdom. He respects all the elements and the inhabitants of his kingdom. For most people, he is “crazy.” He’s the outcast that nobody wants to deal with. He keeps to himself. On the other hand, the Queen continues to manipulate and harm the people below her ranks, using her skills that she learned from the academe.

While both belong to the minority group, the Queen emerged as the oppressor from being the oppressed. This is not an uncommon observation. Most people, unfortunately, are suffering from this pandemic without knowing it. The cycle is endless as long as there are people who allow themselves to be oppressed.

Firewalls

Whenever I hear the term “firewall” I am reminded of the concept of “defense mechanisms.” It is a term used to describe the type of coping that we employ to keep our egos intact to keep it from becoming overwhelmed and eventually breaks down. This is important since the indidual needs to function. As I continue to meet and talk with people, the more it has become clearer that defense mechanisms have evolved.

The most common firewall that most people use is intellectualization. To overcome any psychological threat, they employ rationalization of things/issues. For instance, for people who deny that they discrminate people, they will say that this is a democartic country, therefore they are free to exercise their rights. For people with economic power, they will argue that they hire people based on their preference because they own the company.

 Another example is the policy on tax refund has been disguised to favor the working class but in reality, the rich people get the bggest chunk of the money. The real intention was hidden behind by an elaborate discussion regarding its rational before it was implemented.

To cope with the ignorance of the law, I know of a co-worker who makes the excuse that “oh i did not know i made a discrminatory statement,”?!  This person usually gets away with this when they talk with people who are gullible. How can you not know? It is very basic logic that when you exclude a person or a group from the benefits that you are offering for the majority, this is simple discrimination.

I know, it is very sad that there are those who claim that they are educated yet they don’t realize that they have not learned anything.

Faith trespassers

This morning a stranger knocked on our door. I opened the door and asked what he wanted. My dog started barking at him. He said that he wanted to tell me that he had a good news to share. “I have with me the truth about the true religion,” he expressed with great enthusiasm. With all due respect to his belief, I was annoyed with his statement because it meant that my faith is fake. At this point, I was ready to unleash my dog to scare him away. My dog is a great poser, he could have done a great job doing it. I did not do that of course. I courteously said that I was not interested.

This is not the first time that I encountered similar situation. This is a clear trespassing of cultural boundaries. It is unfortunate that one’s faith is thought of as a true version of the others’. Faith is a personal conviction that needs to be respected.