Trust

People who have had a lot or experience in life told me to trust the process. I am still learning about life…and I’ve learned that it is not wrong to clarify the process before trusting it.

I am a Warrior…

There are tmes when it becomes necessary to fight…

Whose truth?

People always expect the truth. But when you ask them to prove it, they shy away and don’t want to deal with it…It is also ironic to note that in exposing the truth (relative or universal) one has to risk a lot of things.

Pills, friend or foe?

One of my closest friends called me to join him for a dinner last night. I was surprised when he called. The last time I saw and heard from him was five years ago. He used to work in a construction firm. From what I remember from him, He is 6′3″, with a muscular body. He was into sports and loved to play football. He used to tell me that he will teach me how to tackle. He often teased me to work out and build my biceps. So I told him that I’ve been working on it.

When I saw him, I was in great disbelief! He was seating on a powerchair similar to mine. He lost a lot of weight. He moves uncontrollably in different directions. He was sweating a lot. He did not lose his smile though. May be he noticed my facial expression. He said, “Well… are you just gonna look at me and say nothing?” I took a deep breath and smiled at him. I was very ashamed of myself that I was not able to say anything. He started the conversation about how he acquired his disability. He mentioned that it was a medication that he was taking. The side effects of the medications caused all the involunary movements. He mentioned that even in sleep, almost all his muscles are still moving. The involuntary movements make him sweat. I just listened to him. I figured that it was the best thing that I could do. I felt that he needed to be heard and be with someone just to listen to him.

This reminds me about my friends who are into quick fix. Take the pill and the problem is over. There are cases when it may not be always the best decision that you can make. We need to be aware that all medications have side-effects. Some ranges from a simple upset stomach to more serious ones, such as death. Some side-effects can be stopped but there are those that can be permanent. My friend has a permanent one.

I am not saying that pills are dangreous. If you really need it, you have to take it. But we need to be well-informed before taking them. We have to take the initiative to rtesearch about any drugs and asked our doctors or pharmacist about the possible side-effects. We also need to know what to do in case it happens. Unfortunately, there are times when we have no other option but to take the medication(s).

Before we parted, he said, “I will race you next time.”

Unintentional intentions

Recently, I received a bowl and a pair of chopsticks as tokens. While the intention was good, the meaning of the behavior is very different in Chinese culture. I have learned that those items are symbols of death. While the gesture is quite simple, the underlying dynamics is somewhat a little bit complicated. There are two components going on simultaneously, Behavior and Intention.

Behavior can be defined as:

Human behavior is the collection of activities performed by human beings(highlight included for emphasis) and influenced by culture, attitudes, emotions, values, ethics, authority, rapport, hypnosis, persuasion, and/or coercion…The behavior of people (and other organisms or even mechanisms) falls within a range with some behavior being common, some unusual, some acceptable, and some outside acceptable limits. In sociology, (highlight included for emphasis)behavior is considered as having no meaning, being not directed at other people and thus is the most basic human action. Behavior should not be mistaken with social behavior, which is more advanced action, as social behavior is behavior specifically directed at other people. The acceptability of behavior is evaluated relative to social norms and regulated by various means of social control (from Wikipeda).

Intention is defined as:

An agent’s intention in performing an action is their specific purpose in doing so, the end or goal they aim at, or intend to accomplish. Whether an action is successful or unsuccessful depends at least on whether the intended result was brought about. Other consequences of someone’s acting are called unintentional. Intentional behavior can also be just thoughtful and deliberate goal-directedness (from Wikipeda).

The act of giving me the tokens did not mean anything in its purest sense. But when I evaluate the intention behind it, I have to refer to my cognitive schemas whether it was appropriate or not. While it may have violated some cultural norms, it may not actually be the case. There is a need to consider the context where it is happening. In this case the intention was good. But if I failed to understand the intention behind the behavior, I would interpret that as, may be they want me dead. But this is not the case here. The behavior can be construed to be unintentional.

There are many instances where relationships have been broken, or resulted to communication gaps, because of the lack of understanding about certain behaviors. We tend to assume quickly without enough understanding and information about the situation. There is a need discern the reason behind such actions.